Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate

Its 3:21 am, and I’m still up by this thoughts that’s holding me to lay back and dream somewhere in the heavens with her, or maybe it’s due to this thick caffeine that id been sipping relentlessly or maybe it’s because of those massive beer that we gulped last night to help me escape in this world of not having her. No stars can be seen from here and mother moon weeps tears somewhere behind those dark clouds of lies. My heart wails in this catastrophe and I can do none to ease the pain inside. I reside in this inevitable agony, no love for me to snuggle. Silently, I weep inside and no soul can understand the apathy I feel.

Love was never wrong, I think. Only time and situation might be. Utter sadness resonates in my heart, death and hades smear at me from afar; betting if I’ll slit my throat and meet them in the 9 circles of hell. Sacrifice was the only language of love, and it is always accompanied by his friend pain. And I know, Pain and love, they are both deathless gods.

Was it too early for me to let go? Or was it too late for me to gather my strength and fight? All I know is that I haven’t even start to fight, or was there still reason to fight? Tears run dry as I hid myself in this comport of pretention, smiling at every soul, hiding the sadness that resides in my eyes. To whom will I tell? Is there anyone knows the pain I keep inside? Must I give up and dwell in a muddle of agony called letting her go?

I’m so weak; I can’t even fight for my love. All I can do is cry in front of this gadget as I put my sufferings into words that no mortal can understand. I tried so hard to conceal this pain, yet tears still manage to slip out from my eyes. I wish she was here to comfort me from this ever-present agony. All my iniquities had led her to leave me; all I can do is mock at destiny and moan for my wrong decisions.

I’m stuck here in this limbo, spinning round and round, chasing an empty dream. Wishing that I had the guts to drop off these chains of commitment, chase those wind of happiness and fly amidst the heaven of love and fear. 

            Cold breeze touches my soul, telling me to let go. Yet I can’t, no matter how hard mother earth tries to bribe me with her wealth, all I can see is doom if I’m not with her. I’m just a weakling, I’m just pretending to be a tough alpha male, yet inside, and I’m too weak to fight for my life. I’m too weak and I can’t let go.

            How can I move on, when she’s all I can think of? How can I start a new beginning, when it’s her eyes that I long to see each time I wake up? How can I live, when she’s the air I breathe? But everything has its own reason, and not without a cost that we will go down in to this abyss, it is willed from high above, yet I just wish that we were faithful to those oats we have blurted out. Sadly, all I feel is that I’m the only one left in this universe called love, waiting, dying from this never-ending pain.

            If by chance, somewhere in the future, we’ll meet up again, maybe by fate, I’ll fight for her no matter what the cost, forever I'll cling on that someday.

 Everything must come to an end; I was just dreaming mine to end beside her…

           

Tamad Nga Ba Si Juan?

senglot.

            Tamad nga ba si juan? Yan ang naitanong ko sa ilang kakilala. Kung naniniwala sila na tamad ang mga Pilipino. May ilang optimistic at naniniwala na may sipag si juan sa katawan, ilang pessimistic tulad ko, at pailan-ilan na undecided, tila mga polotiko na hindi pa alam kung kaninong kilikili sisinghot para manalo. Siguro dahil sa alam nilang puro katarantaduhan lang ang ginagawa ko kaya yun namang iba, natatawa at ayaw mag komento. Pero ikaw na nagbabasa, sa palagay mo tamad ba talaga tayong mga Pilipino?

            May nag sabi na kapag mahirap daw ang isang bagay, ditto na daw tinatamad ang mga pinoy, tila computer games na dapat novice o easy lang dapat ang difficulty level. Sabagay, kahit ako pag mahirap ang sinisipra ko, tinitigilan ko muna, pag kalmado na ang utak at malinaw na ulit ang tenga, saka ko sinisimulan ulit pakingan, at ibang bagay ito. May isa naman nag sabi na sa oras palang, kita ng tamad tayo, kaya siguro nagawa ang salitang FILIPINO TIME, kung kasama na to sa Webster dictionary ay hindi ko pa lang alam.

hep-hep?

            Pero ano nga ba ang katamaran, at ano nga ba ang kasipagan. Medyo ilang araw ko na din itong tanong sa sarili bago ko pa ginawa ang post na ito. Siguro kung ang tanong o statement na “tamad si juan” ay hindi sakin nagmula at galing sa bibig nang isang bunganga ng banyaga, malamang worldwar3 na at sinisimulan na natin mag punas nang sariling puwet kaka paliwanag at bigay ng halimbawa ng pagiging masipag ng mga pinoy.

            Madaming Pilipino ang nagiibang bansa para magtrabaho, nagsasakripisyo para umasenso ang buhay ng kanyang pamilya, Masipag! Mga tatay na naglalagare sa trabaho para may pagkain na ihahain sa lamesa..ayos diba. Kung sa ganitong aspeto natin titignan, masisipag talaga nag mga pinoy! Pero ito ba talaga ang kasipagan? Kung sakaling walang sweldo ang trabaho, palagay mo ba may magtatrabaho pa ba?

            Sa personal kong opinion, hindi lang ditto ito nasusukat. Ang kasipagan ay isang malawak na aspeto na hindi natin pedeng limitahan lang sa pagtatrabaho. Kasipagan sa kalinisan, kasipagan sa katarungan, kasipagan sa kaayusan, tila yata masyado na talagang nagging tamad ang mga pinoy.

            Nagawa ang ATM para maiwasan na ang mahabang pila sa mga bank teller, ang pulley para mapagaan ang mga binubuhat, ang remote control para wag na tayung mapagod sa pag tayo para ilipat ang estasyon na pinapanood. Ang email ay naimbento para palitan ang tawag sa airmail bilang snailmail. Ang motor ay naimbent para sa mga tamad mag bike, at ang bike ay naimbento para sa mga barat na ayaw magbayad sa tricycle. Ang escalator, elevator, at gondola lift ay naimbento para bawasan ang nakakahingal na pagakyat at baba papunta sa ibang floor ng mga mall, pero kung bakit may taong pinipilit dumaan ng pababa sa pataas na escalator ay isang misteryo na hindi maipapaliwanag ng mga ekperto kung bakit may mga taong sadyang pinanganak na ungas. Ilan lang yan sa mga bagay na nagpapagaan ng trabaho natin, simple machines ang ilan, bukod sa washing machine, rice cooker at psp, ito ay mga simple imbensyon para maging tamad ang mga tao.

wake up baby!

            Sobra ang trapik sa bansa, pero maniniwala ka ba na katamaran ang sanhi nito? Katamaran sumunod batas ng lansanagan, katamaran mag-lakad ng ilang metro, katamaran, katamaran, katamaran. Pansinin mo lang sa ibang bansa, walang tamang lugar ng sakayan at babaan, disiplinadong mamayan lang. walang pumapara sa gitna ng disyerto dahil walang bus stop na dito, walang biglng tumatabi na sasakyan para mag sakay dahil maari itong magbigay ng aksidente. Kung limang kanto ang layo ng babaan sa bahay nila, ayos lang maglalakad sila. Kung sakaling late na sila sa trabaho at 100 kanto ang layo ng opisina sa babaan, tatakbuhin nya ito. Isa sa sanhi ng mabigat na trapiko sa ating bansa ay ang katamaran maglakad, ang tricycle ay naimbento para sa mag taong may pambayad at ayaw maglakad ng limang metro.  Bukod sa kaartehan, katamaran na siguro ang ugat ng mga sakuna sa kalsada.

            “bilis bilis lang ho at bawal mag-baba ditto, baka ho mahuli pa tayo.”

           

            Sigurado ako, kahit isang beses ay nadinig mo nayan. Tila ng magandang loob si manong na ibaba tayo sa lugar na hindi naman dapat babaan. Katamaran. Sobrang bagal nating kumilos, kaya late tayo lagi, walang tamang babaan dahil kahit san may bumababa at sumasakay, tamad mag-lakad.

            Minsan sa trabaho, may customer na tumawag at nagnanais magpa-deliver, ang siste, kung pede na daw walang delivery charge dahil malapit lang. malapit naman pala, bakit hindi pa sya ang mag punta, katamaran? Hindi ba?  Malapit naman pala, bakit magpapa deliver pa? Kaya nga tinawag na fix-delivery-charge. Regardless kung malapit o malayo, marami o maunti, fix po ang bayad. Ang mga delivery service ay pabor sa mga taong madaming ginagawang trabho at hindi maiwan ang mga ito, given na may makapal silang bulsa para gastusan ang bayad ditto.

            Kaya maraming basura, ay dahil sa mga taong tamad mag-hanap ng basurahan. Hindi dahilan ang kawalan ng tamang tapunan,  andami, mag hanap ka lang. ang totoong may sala ay ang ating katamaran. Mga balasubas na basta nalang nagtatapon ng kanilang upos ng sigarilyo, mga kalat na hindi na umabot sa tamanag tapunan. Ang bulsa ay naimbento para tapunan ng kalat mo kung walng basurahan na malapit sayo. Sakit na ata nating mga pinoy ang salitang kunat. Kinukunat tayong gawin ang tama. at kung titignan ko, sobra sobra ang street sweeper sa bansang ito,bagay na hindi ko nakikita sa ibnag bansa. Walang halong pagtataas ng itlog, hindi ako nagtatapon ng kalat ko sa kalsada, kahit si jayjune ay may ugaling ganito. Kahihiyan ang tawag ditto, nahihiya kaming may makakita at makantsawan na balasubas. Andaming metro aide sa bansa natin, mga basurero dahil kahit san may basura. Hiring kaya sila?

            Mabaho at mapanghe ang bansa natin at ito ay dahil sa mga taong tamad mag hanap ng tamang palikuran, ang solusyon, bukod sa portable toilet ng mmda, mga kanto, at masisikip na eskenita na ginagawang palikuran. Katamaran sa pag hangad ng kalinisan. Hindi ako naniniwala na may kakulangan tayo sa tamang ihiian, sa dami ng mall sa kamaynilaan pano nila sasabihin na walang tamang maihian.

 Naalala ko yung katrabaho ko dati,nung 3 araw na walang kuryente sa pagsanjan, buong lakas loob sya naki plantsa sa isang bahay na hindi kakilala, malapit sa bar na pinagdadausan ng party namin. Kung ang mga pinoy lang ay may ganitong ugali, kesa gawing public urinal ang mga pader.

tamad nga ba si juan?

Ang commonwealth avenue ay kilala din sa bansag na killer highway dahil sa dami ng aksidente na nangyari sa nasabing lugar, bukod sa mga f1 truck driver at mga f16 jeeepneey driver na mahilg makipag karera kay kamatayn dahil sila ata ay mauubusan ng daan, ang isa sa pinakamataas na dahilan ng kamatayn ditto ay ang mga hinayupak na jay-walkers. Mga taong tamad tumawid sa tamang tawiran. Tignan mo to ha, sa pinas ka lang makaka kita ng mga taong tumatawid sa ilalim ng overpass at ibabaw ng underpass, ang mga ganitong katamaran ay talagang bagay na hindi mo makikita sa mga banyaga… now tell me, isn’t it more fun here in the Philippines?

Fixers – isa sa mga necessity ng tamad, kaya sila nabubuhay ay dahil sa katamaran ng mga tao. Hindi lang naman sila ditto sa pinas nag-e-exist. Katamaran pumila. Kahit ang mga e-pass sa mga express way ay isang paraan para sa mga tamad mag-hintay. Kahit ako asar akong pumipila lalo na at naka duty ako tas pipila ako ng mahaba sa mga establishment na binibilan ko, marami pa kong pedeng magawa kaysa pumila. Isa sa sanhi ng buhol-buhol na sanga ng mga taong pawisan ang kili-kili ay ang katamaran sa pag-pila. Sobrang ayaw nating nag-hihintay kaya nagging bihasa na tayo sa “palakasan” at “pagsangat”. Kahit nung scholar pa ng dating gobernador ang dati kong katipan, nauuna pang tawagin sa kanya yung mga late comer na may kilala sa loob. Pugay kamay.

Minsan muli sa trabaho, isang kupal na kasama ditto ang inatake g katamaran. Habang naghuhugas sya ng kamay sa hand-sink namin ay umapaw ang drainage system namin dahil sa kapabayaan. Barat na ang kumpanya para gastusan ang dapat gastusan, may bala subas pa kaming kasama. Alam ng barado, di pa inalalayan ang pagpapadaloy ng tubig. Nang umapaw, imbes na mop-pin at tuyuin, nilagyan ng “wet-floor-signage” kung crew chief ako tulad ng kupal na to, siguro aasta ako ayon sa rate ko. Pero di lang naman sya ang foul sa bagay na itom dahil kahit ang ka sama ko minsan may pag-ka ganito, dahil kahit anong “tulo o water drippings” ang solusyon nya ay “water-stop-sealanat. Katamaran pagaaralan ang sira.

tamad daw kami?

Hindi ko naman sinasabi na lahat ng pinoy ay tamad, mga 85% lang. ang natitira ay ningas kugon tulad ko. Kahit ako inaatake ng paminsan-minsan katamaran. “oo, nagtatapon ako ng basura sa ilog pag tinotoyo ako.” Pero sana wag naman sa lahat ng oras ay tamad tayo. Minsan kasi yung tamad magtapon ng basura sa basurahan, ay sya pang tamad umihi sa tamang palikuran at pag minamalas sila yung mga taong tamad mag t-shirt sa labas ng bahay. Sabi nga ng isang pilosopo, mas nagtatagumpay daw yung masisipag kaysa matatalino. Hmmm, kaya pala puro bobo at artista ang politico ditto sa bansa, masisipag magnakaw ng pera ng bayan. Kung may talino ay di ko lang alam. Siguro ditto ibinatay nung pilosopo ang kanyang kasabihan…

If Nudity Is A Form of Art, Would You Let Me Strip You Down?

let me have the pleasure!

            Wala akong ibang ibig sabihin sa bagay nayan, kung medyo bastos ang nasa-isip mo ay labas na ako sa bagay na yan, bahala ka ng magkumpisal sa paborito mong pare at simulat mag “aba ginoong maria” habang binabasa ang post na ito. Ang title na ito ay isa lamang mockery sa nakakatawang tanawin sa kalsada, labas ng bahay minsan sa umaga.

            Naiintindihan ko na mainit ditto sa pinas, tropical country kasi tayo. Pero hindi naman siguro ganun kainit dito para mag-hubad nalang lagi tyo, ewan ko ba, masyadong mabenta ata dito pag hubo o kaya ay halos hubad kana. Kahit ako lagging naka topless, pero sa loob lang ng bahay. Di naman ako endorser ng brief o pantalon para ipakita lagi ang nakakadiri kong katawan. Tropical tayong bansa, at hindi pa ganun ka init para maghubo tayu lagi.Sa mga disyertong bansa, wala kang makikita na mga topless na lalaki, lahat sila balot-na-balot sa damit, ito ay para wag masunog ang kanilang mga balat mula sa sikat ng galit na galit na araw. Ang mga babae, pati mukha ay tago, hindi lang dahil sa isang tradisyon, kundi para maging mas kapanapanabik sila sa mga lalaki. Samantalang dito, kita mo na panty. Hell yeah!

            Naalala ko pa nung bata ako, bawal sa mga mall sa manila ang naka short, tsinelas at sando. Pero ngayun kahit gusgusin ka pede na. Bata man o matanda ay kailangan sumunod sa alituntunin kung gusto mong pumasok sa mall. Saka ang mga gangster at hip-hop pa nung panahon na yun ay naka loose-shirt di tulad ngayon na naka sando, short at tsinelas na may ga-tuhod na haba ng medyas. Kung dati, kailanagn mong maging disente para makapasok sa mga establishments, ngayun basta carry mo outfit mo, gora!

            Sa ngayun pinapatupad ng MMDA sa kamaynilaan na bawal ang mga lalakeng-topless-ala-matt-damon ang katawan dahil ugat sila ng sakuna sa kalsada. Bakit? Dahil bukod sa nakaka pagdala sila ng init ng ulo, ay nkakapagdulot sila ng sakit sa ulo na humahantong sa pagsusuka, ang dulo? Disgrasya, dahil pag ang driver pag nahilo, banggaan.

            Naalala ko dati, mahigpit sa church pag dating sa attire. Bawal ang short, tsinealas, t-shirt. Pero dati ata yun. Dahil kahit yung naka short natugtog pa din. Yung mga naka polo nagti-t-shirt na after ng P and W. iba talaga pag sariling dugo, grabe tayu mag tolerate.

ooooopppsss.... censored! 

            Nakakita ka na ba ng mga babae na naka pek-pek short? Yung short na short talaga? Bakat ang mga malutuan at pati ang singit ay kita na. binabanas ba ang mga maluto nila kaya ganito kaikli ang short ng mga ito, sabagay, pag maganda naman yung babae at makinis, pabor saming mga lalaki ito. Pero pag kamukha ni nicky, yca o liezel, teka pede bang wag nyo kaming parusahan sa kasalanan na hindi namin ginawa at wag kami ang pagdusahin sa kababuyan nyo, hindi kami natutuwa. Naisip ko l;ang, nag-susuot din kaya si mam pre ng ganito? Pero ang ganitong sitwasyonm ay minor palang, may mas hard-core pa dito.

            Mini-skirt, sinung lalaki nga naman ang hindi natutuwa sa pagkakalikha ng bagay na ito. Karamihan ata sa mga lalaki ay may lihim na pagnanasa at matinding imahinasyon sa damit na ito, kung lalaki ka alam mo na tinutukoy ko, kung babae ka, lapitan mo ko at papakita ko sayu. Ayus lang naman ang mini-skirt, pero yung super-mega-over-mini-skirt, parang nakakatawa ito. Paminsan-minsan makakakita ka ng mga ganito, mga babaeng naka super-mega-over-mini-skirt na abalang-abala sa pag hatak nito pababa dahil kita na ang kanila ytnap. Pag sinusuwerte ka, pati langit at toro-bola ay masusulyapan mo na.

            Pero ang pinaka-nakakaungas sa lahat ay eto, yung mga babaeng lumalabas ng bahay ng walang short o bra tas nka manipis na tshirt lang at nagtatakip ng tuwalaya dahil ayaw makitaan. “kakasalubong ko lang sa isa”. Eh gago pala kayo! Ayaw nyo palang mabastos tas ganayan ang isusuot nyo. Mas matindi pa sa katol ang tinitra ng mga ito. Isipin mo naman, anong utak meron ang mga ito para mag suot ng kabastos bastos na damit tas pag sinipulan mo sasabihan ka ng bastos, pugay kamay! Dapat sa mga ito ay tinatali sa puno at pinapakain sa lamok.

slim type?

            Naiintindihan ko, biblically hubad tayong lumabas sa mundong ito at hubad din tayong babalik sa lupa, at tayo daw mga pinoy ay nang galing kay malakas at maganda na parehas hubo’t hubad ng lumabas sa kawayan. Pero, wag naman sana tayong atat tulad ng mga doomsday sayer na hindi na makahintay sa Kristo at inuunahan na ang may akda ng langit at lupa kung kailang nya ito itatapon sa kumukulong lawa.  Ang damit ay ginawa hindi lang para pamorma, kundi para takpan ang mga dapat takpan at ingatan ang dapat ingatan. Kung maganda ka at makinis, show your skin but not too much, masasawa sayo ang tao. Tandaan mo, satisfaction is the death of desire. Ang mga maiikling short ay ginawa para sa magaganda ang hita at mukha, kung isa kang hipon ay wag ka na sanang umasta na maganda. Ang talikodgenic ay isang bagay na hindi na natin dapat pang talakayin, dahil bukod sa pang talikod lang sila, eh wala ng solusyon sa mga mukha nito, tignan mo nalang si lanni misalucha. Hindi naman masamang ipakita ang iyong katawan ito ay kung ikaw si vin diesel o ariani celeste. Ang pagsusuot ng kabastosbastos na damit ay para lang sa mga taong below sea level ang utak, kung ayaw mong mabastos umarte ayon sa sitwasyon. Walang masama kung itatago mo ang panget mong mukha at katawan, ang mga ganyang baho ay tama lang itago kasama ng mga skeleton sa iyong closte. Ang maganda kapag nagmaganda ay tunay na kaaya-aya sa mata, pero ang panget pag nagmaganda ay panget parin po.

            

Disaterrama…

hell yeah1

            Sadness echoes as I put these words into txt, thoughts keeps blistering my head over and over again, and I supposed sanity hid behind those dark clouds of travesty to give way to their greed. No kudos for them again, I guess.

            Another year, another tragedy, seems like were dancing in an endless waltz of chaos called Disasterrama “sorry it was Christmas party or was it a party after all?” Year after year, we flow from dullness to oblivion and I can almost see the Nazi’s smear at the genocide right before my eyes. Shit fly’s all-over the place to pesterize the evening. Dismay had the right that night to slip from everyone’s lips as we try to hide it with a fraud smile.

            It was another gloomy night and no song of joy to uplift the spirit of the restless, we find no happiness in everyone’s eye, or maybe it’s only us who didn’t enjoy the night. A hollow sound, a dull  place, another mindless presentations, more worthless gifts…what more can I ask for, these time I can see happiness wave goodbye as she sink in the sea of melancholic dream. No more smile, I think it’s time we dine, in a world of no hallucination called pretention and gather up our balls and shout “go to hell!”

            What’s with the venue? I know that the theme this year was “rockista and fashionista” but a garage as a venue for a once-a-year-occasion? Come ‘on, don’t be such a greedy. If this was the idea, then we might as well call it garage party? Am I not wrong? And mind you, rock is not a fashion, it’s an attitude. Wearing a black tight-balls-emphasize-jeans won’t make you a rock star, grow up man, Robin Padilla and Cesar Montano was not and never a rocker, not even Zian Lim who won the title that night. All they can sing is an out-of-tuned-love song which they prefer to sing in their romantic scenes, care for some trash bin to puke on? But as expected, it was an old acquaintance who won the title of Miss fashionista, hands down, she really deserve it. But, let me tell you something, rock was never a clothing line, so can we not make it as a theme on our next disasterrama? Though black is for rock and not for hip-hop, would we please spare us in this travesty? Who among us really listen to a wolfgang music? Thus anyone bang their heads as Malcolm young slams his hair? Is there any other among us who have the balls to squeeze there selves amidst a horde of unethical bacchanals who love to Blistererized others in a mosh pit, the answer is none. It was an efing night for me, and for the first time, it was only a two hour event, no more excuses, everybody packed their things and went home by 12-MIDNIGHT. Even our OO‘s was so disappointed that they took no effort to stay much longer. Okay, the food was great, praise them, but that’s it. Nothing more. Period.

            Apathy resonates as we try so hard to cover up the flaw. Haven’t we learned from our mistake, I mean, what’s with the raffle draw? Are we some grade school that can be bribed with some worthless shit? Go fuck yourself! Don’t be such a greedy please? Haven’t I been telling this in these posts over and over again? Greediness is a state of mind called dilemma where we exorcize happiness from others and indulge in their agony as they strive hard to stay afloat while we joyously push them down.

           

5 yrs. strong that I’d been working as a part of this family and it’s my 6^th time to attend in our so-called-Disasterrama, and never had I’d been dismayed like this! I almost puked when I saw nicky and yca, but that’s another story. Honestly, I for one has hoping for a much greater, an extravagant party that evening. But everything was ruined by these hope, you see hope only causes pain, it’s the lit of anguish that we fear most yet we love to dwell in these insipid thing and we ourselves are to be blamed for these pains. For 5yrs, our former bosses and our former star make sure to have a memorable party, no offense to my best friend, but I wish she had the balls to bite back each time our bosses act upon their dim-witted meats called brain. Maybe for the newbies, having a party at a garage is a kick-ass scene, but in the real world, it’s not, being a stingy is not a cool thing, money won’t buy you happiness, but it can rent a decent place for us to have a much happier party and it can buy lots of beer.

As usual we started late, for I was one of those late comers. I decided to sip some brain freezer with my other pain in the ass workmates. As I said earlier the food was great, but other than that, I think I’ll just shut up and let the others do the talking. And, I think what you’ve read is enough pretexts, and allow me to nag on those fucking things I care none, for I love to dip on things I’m not related to, so would you please put down your pitch fork and wipe of that grin in your efing face. Sit back, and start smashing your keyboard.

First and foremost, to all those insipid who vulgarly told everybody that they wouldn’t attend, stick to your balls man! Your-no-fucking-elvis to be that special, I mean, if what you want to say is you’re not sure, then say “probably” or “maybe” to hell with you. 

Did you enjoy the famous “litson baboy”? it was donated by a fellow friend whom we love to borrow money, a lending investor as one might say. Thanks to her, we might have end up in shortage of food. But what sickens me is this; our OM was not amazed because of the mere fact that she is lending us money with an interest. Let’s just drop off aiza for a moment, and focus on the word “lend”. Is she some idiot or a naïve to know not that carrel was lending money before with far much greater interest? Is she not updated with the latest lender in town? Is she not that thankful that someone given us a decent food, when in the mere fact she’s the one that should have given us a “litson baboy”. Let’s just say that it was only 5k, but can she give us even a 1k worth of food from her own pocket. NGANGA! Where would we borrow? In our store EEF? EMPLOYEE EMERGENCY FUND, so much for the emergency, it would took 6 months before it can be granted, can they even lend as much as 2k, hell no! Fuck off! You’re no one of us to pretend that you know how to live in our shoes. You’re living by stepping in our head. Niggard! Let’s just say, that we had spit in your face, and you’ve taken it as an insult.

Lastly, if you guys want to gulf some brain-freezer-libido-enhancer-drink, make sure that you’re no tight-fisted-niggard. Having you with us was such an honour at first, but leaving us with all the bill, come ‘on, we all need money. Go find somebody else to treat you,.

It saddens me to admit that what happened was far worse than chaos; it was an utter disarray of grief and dismay.  We strive so hard to please your asses, yet you failed to put a worth remembering occasion. Time after time, we managed to survive the everyday ordeal of our company, from broken tiles, to clog grease traps, from late crews to nagging managers, but isn’t it time for us to have some fun? Let’s set aside the difference and let ego dissolve in the storm forgiveness. Cast words of blissful happiness and praised those who deserve to be praised, and as much as possible give those who deserve their wages to be raised. The essence of a Christmas party is put in a simple aphorism; it’s the spirit of giving. If we can’t meet with this, then we might as well sink in turmoil of stingy bosses and let greediness ransack our dreams.

           

            

A Call to Arms

no..not this one!

      Gadgets, who among us who have none one of these? Maybe those vagrants on streets or those vagabonds that’s lost in their own universe, or maybe those unfortunates who live beneath the falling bride of this country or those who live in fear the native regions of Mindanao, but us?

from day 1

      Necessity is the mother of invention, and as the season changes so are these gadgets that make as gaga and craze over and over again. From telegraph to telephone, to cell phone now android phones are swarming our market like a plague that catches as off-guard, dying to have one of the latest. If necessity is the mother of invention then contentment is another question.

      Rapidly, I saw how we craze over the latest gadgets, 15yrs ago, you can count on your both hands those family who have cellular phone on their houses, 25yrs ago you can count on one of your hand those family who have a telephone in a town. Now, every member of a family has its own gadgets, and at times you can count in one of your hand how many gadget one has. From the first computer made, from windows ’94, ’97, 2000, vista, professional and from windows 7 to the new talk of the town windows 8, inventors and manufacturer’s really know how to tingle are minds and get us on our feet, sell our dignity for a small gadget.

Add caption

      Early this morning, a friend asks me to come over his school for a Boy Scout investiture, and there is one thing that I notice, most of those who are there are using tablets. I want to have one of those, as a gaming console for me and my baby. Maybe at times get a picture from its camera. But as much as possible, I would like to have my own camera, DSLR or not, I must have one of these.

      Though, a tablet has its own built in camera, it was never a synonym for you-won’t-need-a-real-camera. I mean, hell you have the dough to buy an APPLE IPAD2 or SAMSUNG GALAXY TAB, then why don’t you buy a real camera? Bragging rights? It’s not a cool thing to wag your 10’’ tabs all over the place like you’re a priest that’s holding the holy sacrament and telling the insipid crowd to vow down. Tablets are tablets; they are made as it is. Not a laptop or an SLR to capture a real life image.

who made this cover...steve jobs?

      Have you seen an I-pad with a cover or a casing to protect it from harsh element? Who ever invented it must have thought of it thoroughly, he was a genius! I mean, he created an accessory brilliantly. Why make an accessory that would cover the godly-apple-logo? Then there was the casing with a hole purposely place in front of the logo. There no use of a casing if you can’t tell the world HEY-LOOK-AT-MY-EFING-TAB! Kudos to you sir!

      I know, a facebook friend thought as that we need no SLR or a DSLR to capture image and be an instant photographer. We were only using camera phones at its limits together with our hearts and mind. Imagination and literature was our axes. Maybe they’re no photo enthusiast, and I’m just a dickhead mumbling on things I’m not associated to.

they must have lots of dough man...

      But maybe, a tablet has many more use than we can imagine. One can use it as a cover when it raining, or from the heat of suns raging fury at summer. Or you can use it as a weapon to smash anyone in the head! Or maybe try these cool guys from the US who made their i-pad a skateboard!

      If you’re reading this I urge you my friend to not only invest on show-off-gadgets, though having a tablet is a nice idea, pls. invest on a good camera to be used on kodakan-moments, in the end, we are still Filipinos who love to smile in front of the camera even when we’ve been hit by a level 5-superstorm, and you’ll find that pictures taken from a high def. camera always rocks! Tabs are gods in your hand, but it can never replace cameras, maybe for now.

sir, lets try hitting you with this and tell me if it hurts?

      

Worms of the Earth…

Rotten deep inside, we pretend to shine in a purpose called love.

Dark agenda rises as pretension cover up the hollows in our heart.

We see things on different perspectives.

We live on different objectives.

We act on different reasons,

for our heart changes, just like the season.

As my knee touches the floor,

you stood up and raise your heads as high as the sky.

Your egos soar in the clouds of arrogance,

conceited by your kin; they act none to stop you from falling apart.

You struggle hard to please the crowd,

You pretend from up above.

Actions taken for granted.

We strive hard to reach for the unfortunates,

yet we our misunderstood and accused with words of utter blasphemies.

We took no refuge,

For every soul can understand the sorrow of being beaten down from behind.

Apathy and lament floats towards eternity,

As I soar down deep in this vast sadness.

I mourn on this pretext of yours,

dreams stumble to the ground with this sacrilege you’ve planted

deep inside my heart and mind.

Face first; I collide in this ground of deceit.

No hope to push me up,

You try so hard to shatter this massive rock with my heart.

Muddles of lies scattered on the ground,

leaving no space for light to shine.

Our hearts hide somewhere in this darkness,

mourning in the catastrophe of our acts.

Murmurs of ignorance slip from your lips;

I pity those who will indulge in the bitter sweet taste of your noxious kiss.

Sadly, we lament on things we could never have.

We play in a different beat,

a syncopated purpose that sings no words of harmony.

All I feel is angst in your sound,

no rhythm to hush the sobbing heart of the gods.

We dwell in deep lament,

love weeps silently from afar.

All I hear is a melancholic resonance of your guitar,

no solid foundation to help us stand on the ground.

As I am being eaten by these thoughts,

I roam freely in a universe of hallucination,

pretending that everything is alright.

Point, click, kill,

I’m shot at point blank from behind my head.

Blood drips on the ground,

we smile as we pretend that everything is alright.

Happiness hang somewhere in the heavens,

sobbing in the torment of love,

dying in frustration,

for i have let my guard down.

Leaves in the trees starting to fall;

flowers dissolve in the air as they dance carelessly in the wind of past.

As the fire in your eyes dies together with our life,

cold breeze embraces,

and snuggle inside our heart.

Silently we froze in hatred;

we die vain in this autumn in our heart.

Will we find peace amidst this travesty?

Or shall we end up lying dead on the floor as another casualty.

As I paint the town red,

we try to cover-up the sins of our lives,

Silently,

we hide our lies beneath your lovely eyes.

Now we dine, boastfully in front of death,

Hoping we’ll end up not as worms of the earth.

wish you were this...

The Lamentation of Jeremiah

i go here...you go there.

Eyes fall down,

We resigned to hopelessness the fills our empty hearts.

Death cuddles us with his scythe,

And no ray of light can be seen from afar.  

As we dance in this sea of cloud,

Your smile starts to falter together with the light.

My Heart vanishes somewhere in the dark heavens together with my mind.

Darkness engulfs our dream,

Hallucination rises and wages a war against sanity.

     

Tears run dry as we collide with pride.

We try to survive,

Yet no hope can be seen in these eyes.

You continued to fight,

I reside with this fear in my heart.

Courage was never really at hand.

We shadow box with false hopes and dreams.  

No more reason to fight,

Hands down,

We throw in the towel, as my dreams touches the canvass.

Dreams are shattered,

Oats were broken.

Pain was free to roam inside our hearts.

Tell me, how can we ever survive?

Blistered by faint images of your smile,

Hallucinated with my own deceptive lies,

We falter 8,284 steps behind.

We tried so hard,

Still we fall short to those dreams once we had.

We love to cling on those memoirs,

And dwell on our sweet stain.

Though it only causes us grieves and pain,

We restrain to give up, and to move once again.

Slowly, we glide towards lamentation,

We cast words of dismay from your heart of utter pretension.

I see no hope in your eyes,

You feel no love in my smile.

Welcome to this jungle called love.

Though it hurts,

I must say goodbye.

Though this is pure pain,

You must forget my smile.

For this is what fate has dictated,

That it’s not us that must be together.

As I fall down and weeps these teary eyes,

We falter 8,284 steps behind.

time to say goodbye....

An overdriven syncopated melodic minor 7th beat

      Worship is an act of religious devotion usually directed towards a deity. The word is derived from the Old English worthscipe, meaning worthiness or worth-ship — to give, at its simplest, worth to something.

      Evelyn Underhill (2001) defines worship thus: "The absolute acknowledgment of all that lies beyond us—the glory that fills heaven and earth. It is the response that conscious beings make to their Creator, to the Eternal Reality from which they came forth; to God, however they may think of Him or recognize Him, and whether He be realized through religion, through nature, through history, through science, art, or human life and character." Worship asserts the reality of its object and defines its meaning by reference to it.

      An act of worship may be performed individually, in an informal or formal group, or by a designated leader.

                “…talking is cheap, everybody can talk.”

-bro. Andrew, Hillsong

raise your riffle...

                Anybody can raise their hands, say words of praise. But few can really initiate it in their own lives. But, let’s drop off the article here and see things from the other side, or rather here. Commonly, worship now is composed of two things, songs and instruments. As stated by matt redman, we are the generation that worship by song, not by heart. Hell yeah, we really are, yet why most of our churches would not give all their best in this medium of worship? We lack the knowledge, how much more is our hearts?

      Now a day, the typical program of a Sunday service is song and word. Oh, forgive me my friend if I have forgotten the most precious part, the tithes and offering. Will you still forgive me? a service would be in futile if this would not be done.

      But really, if this is the way of our worship, may we know the purpose of ourselves? Literally, what’s our purpose and significance?

      To begin with, let’s start with the drummer, the steady pulse of once rhythm. The adrenaline rush towards the sky, the solid anchor that dwells beneath the sea to keep us from strangling in the waves of dilemma called excitement. He is the blood that runs in our veins that keeps us apace.   

      Our solid foundation that keeps us standing is our bass, our skeletal system that keeps us intact with one another.  Eradicate it, and all you’ll hear is a thin hollow sound of murmurs. They are the echo that builds up the pace.

      Guitars and keys are the mind of the team; they are the one that leads us through the ordeal of arrangement. They are the visionaries, the idealist. It’s their tone that leads us through the storm of transposition and the voice behind our shallow dreams.

choose one...

      Back-ups, back-ups. They are the ears and eyes, left and right. It’s them that must see and hear both side, so that they might know what to do to accompany the worship leader, but how will they if they don’t exercise their purpose. They’re like musicians without a listener, a writer without a reader, or a blogger without a follower. One must understand he’s part, or we might end up forever hanging in the tread of suspended animation.

      The hands, at times, it’ll get dirty, worn out and at times get calluses. Yet still, it must reach out to touch lives and meet God. They are the worship leader. More than shaking hands, hand held up high in a voice praise. These little hands are the catalyst that leads us in the spirit. The same hands that must forever dwell in the mud called sinners and lift them up towards the creator of heaven and earth.

      And lastly, our heart. It is our ever living God, Jesus Christ. Without the heart, we’re nothing but a flesh breathing insignificants, nothing more, nothing less. A blood without the heart is just a blood, a stagnant blood, somewhere inside the body, deoxygenated and exhausted. The skeletal system, though they are valuable, without the heart, they’ll be just bones without any joints, cracking and should be fed to any dog. A sound without skill is pointless, and a skill without a heart worthless. Skill and spirit must be enhanced together; none of them must be left behind. And also, both heart and mind should be at peace with one another.

      It’s been years when a suggestion was pass in front of CYP “now SYJM”, a battle of the bands among each worship team. Hell yeah! Let’s see who’s the efing greatest worshipper in town, and kiss their ass!  Not many likes the way a former mentor of mine lives his life, but one of his principle is this“ no worshipper should outstand his fellow worshiper, after all were all just significant in front of our God”. Though, we’ve parted ways a long time ago, and many of us had forsaken him and cast of words of dismay and depamation, kudos to you Doc.

marty or joel?

“We’re all Christians, and we all hold on to our faith very strongly,” he says. “Jesus didn’t come here for just Christians. He came here for the world, to show everyone that love is real and it’s not wrong to speak the truth, and if you speak the truth, you’re going to find it.

“To seclude yourself to a subculture, to seclude yourself to a bubble, I think is wrong. I don’t agree with the Christian industry. I’d like to see it end, really.”

“… when you're serious about your faith it reflects in all aspects of your lives. In a very large way, the messages of the songs reflect where we are as individuals and how we look at life. Faith plays a big part in our music and we all wear that proudly”

“It's amazing how our music has touched people of all faiths and walks of life. We love that people grasp that message of hope and love that inspires us right back. It's everything we prayed for and hoped for.”

“No matter where people are in their lives, they find power in our music and it's been amazing and really rewarding as an artist. We're so fortunate to get the feedback that confirms what we are doing is right.”

“I couldn't ask for more than just that -- the validation, and hearing that the music brings hope and helps you live life to the fullest is a beautiful thing.”

- Sameer ­Bhattacharya, lead guitarist of flyleaf

                                                                             

S.N.L. tyano

      I know not much on this word called worship, but as stated it is a lifestyle, it’s an everyday struggle to make your Creator smile. It’s a never ending journey to meet our ever living God. More than the world itself, one must understand what it means. Grow up, we’re living in a hallucinated world where we believe in a false bravado that this world will learn, always, from the pulpit. No its not, it’s in our lives, on how we interact towards humanity. Compassion, justice hope, and love, more than words, let us act