When Love Turns To Dust…

holding back those tears.

           Pain is all that was left. No trace of hope can be seen in her eyes, sanity almost wither and only anguish harbors inside her heart and mind. He was gone. No more shimmering light to guide her hands.

All hope is gone.

maybe...

           

…It all happened suddenly.

A dramatic turn of events...

In just a snap, fate broke them apart. He dumped her without any warning, saying that he had met a new one. She doesn’t want to say goodbye, but how, when all that she believed seems to be an utter lie.

How did this happen? Why? Where was love? Had Eros forsaken her, why? Dazed, she let confusion pile up in her mind.

            Sleepless nights, her eyes drench in sorrow, fleeing from sanity was her only remedy; all she wanted was to move on, but how? Where? How?

             When all that’s left, was fragment of broken vow, a disregarded promise and fogged eyes. She just wished that the pain would stop. But how, when each time she closes her eyes, memories of him clog her mind. Her reasoning abandoned somewhere in the heavens. Anchors of dilemma cast inside her heart, so conceited to deny the bitter-sweet truth of reality. He was gone, yet it’s him that she longs to see whenever she wakes up.

The harsh wind continues to blow them apart. Love sets down together with father sun; though unlike the latter, love won’t have a new dawn in her life, and just like love, pain was also a deathless god that will cling forever inside her shattered heart.

i guess...

Suddenly, all she that she had believed fades to black. He’s smiles are now the lit of her pain, the cause of her tears, the foundation of her suffering. Memories of him were a constant hurting.

She tried to stop him, to fight for him, but courage wasn’t on her side. Though love has the capability to tear down all walls, right now pride was far much superior. Pain and agony was always beside her, they will be her comrades for a long time. Silently, she wallows in her sufferings.

Longing for a cure, like a bird in the middle of a dessert, fooled by the mirage of fake smiles, she soars higher into the sky of hallucination. She rises towards her lamentation and pampers herself within the sea of clouds. Phony comfort was all she had. Knavish feelings soothe her sorrow, letting fraud lovers to heel her broken heart. How long must this apathy go on…how long.

She just wants to move on…

But how…

She can’t

Let go.

amen.

            

How To Be A Father…

            Is not that easy. You see, one must sacrifice a lot of things or should I say tons of it. From time, to whatever that may pop up inside your mind. It’s not that easy, but it’s all worth it.

            By all means, creating or having a baby is easy as 123 that even midgets have knowledge on it. I mean, hey don’t be such a hypocrite and start casting words of ignorance. Lots of teens now are engage on it, though there are some few that’s not in to it…yet. Still, most of our youths are doing the “thing”, so don’t be a pain in my ass and pretend that you’re going to be beatified by the pope.

Oh  Yeah!

            All male has the capability to become one, but to be a real father? Seldom of us had been triumphant. It’s not that easy as one may think. Sleepless nights, the sweet smell of your young ones excrement, shifting sleep schedule, the loud roar of a hungry baby at 1am. It’s not that easy to wake yourself and get up from your great slumber.

 It takes a lot of love and affection.

            By all means, things start to change. All you want is the warmth of your precious child’s hand. All you want is to hear the tiny sound of her asleep. All you want is to see is your dear child and nothing more.

            You’ll become delusional, a cynic, a schizophrenic thinking that other would try to hurt her.

            You’ll become an agnostic of all the things that’s related to your child’s security.

            You’ll become awfully protective on everything that comes near her.

            …and lastly, you’ll become plain arrogant on things that your child can do. Heck I am.

                    

            All you want is, that time would conceit your heart and stop its hand so you could hold your baby inside your arms for the rest of your life. To make her feel being loved, cherished, to make her feel valued. You’ll let go of everything just for her sake, for her laughter, for her sweet smile…and it’s all worth it.

            It’s not that easy, believe me. Being a father is an everyday learning that one must comprehend, discover and understand. Sadly, there’s no school for it, but every men is expected to pass this task. It’s a gift that one should enhance always and forever for the sake of his prized child. And sadly again, some men managed to finish this with flying bottles; spinning round kick, some superman punch and a rear naked choke…may they rot in hell. Amen.

color blind

            In this game called fatherhood, I’m just few paces ahead from the place called start, and there still a long way lies ahead of me. There still vast of lesson that I must learn; things to discover for my child’s sake. I just pray that, when I reach this games finale, I’ll still be me, loving my only princess with all my heart.

            

Feast of the holy black hypocrites…

hold on tight.

            It is estimated that, there was about 8.5 million Filipino devotees horded the recent feast of the most famous Roman Catholic idol, the holy Nazarene. “Hey, no offense here. I’m just trying to get your attention, and I think I got it. So maybe, put down that pitchfork of yours and continue reading this post.” Imagined if the bomb treath was not only a treath, our coountries population could have almost cutdown a bit. That’s why the government cut-off cellularphones cignal in entire metro manila to aboid some insipid dim-witted moron from plagueng our phones of some post-apocalyptic-ass-kisser-prophesy ,or from a numbhead that wants to reap your sanity by sending stupid bombtreaths. May they be abducted by some rebels, whom will teach them the art of true fear.

 

            First of all, my opinion here might be a second hand thought, or maybe not; but for all I know, their faith is deep-as-black-as-their-sleeping-god. Yet, their action towards their fellow human is shallow as their minds. Sadly, neither reasoning nor compassion was seen beyond that vast crowd.  You need to squeeze yourself beyond the horde of geez-you-smell-like-shit just to get yourself entangled in a maze of lost sheep following a false dream. And, if luck just might be on your side and managed to get up-front with the “black-one” you have to search yourself thoroughly, coz some of your personal stuff might been snatched by a petty thief. You see, January 9 is a one miraculous day, it is a day where devotees pray and bandits receive cosmic blessings. Though others struggle to find a spot where they can wipe their towels “it is said that if you managed to wipe a piece of cloth to any part of the black Nazarenes body, you’ll be healed from what-so-ever-sickness”, some find a spot where they can grab the opportunity and take advantage of the situation. It is a once a year festival where hordes of morons gather for a day of mindless struggle for freedom, salvation, deliverance, forgiveness, healing; wealth and sometimes, for power. So why loose the chance to outwit those fools and stand beyond the crowd and just glanced around those pesky dammed when you can join the club and ransack their pockets and bag.

            Every year, tons of people get smashed, crushed and sometimes squashed to the ground. Others got trauma, while some just managed to see others shoe for the last time in their life. While some managed to bring other to the hospital, others were rushed to a local morgue. Suffocation under the words of sorrow. Regret is a word they love to hover upon, neglecting authorities’ like they didn’t exist at all. Tell me, will they ever learn?

will you please a little bit

                                 

            Though, most of us “Filipinos” call ourselves “Christians”, the book of almanac tells the world that we are not “Christians” but “Roman Catholics”, don’t you find this odd? They call themselves “Christians” yet they don’t follow the “key-word”. All they do is whine about their problems, cast dismay to those who can’t feed their own young’s. To top it all up, why do they neglect the 2^nd law given to us by mosses? Yet still, why do most of us follow these blasphemies? No matter how hard other sect barge on their faith, they can’t tear them               apart. Aside from being a “till-death-do-us-part” relationship with their religion, you’ll be amazed on how they focus their selves in to just one-piece-of-wood-idol.

just a little bit.

            Humans, no matter how hard or easy things turns out, they’ll find something to give thanks or mock to. They ask for guidance, yet they only just listen to what profits their balls and egos. More than those good sermons, uplifting preaches, glamorous chandeliers’ that hangs from their respective churches and soul soothing voice of the choir you hear every Sunday. There’s something deeper that most of us don’t understand why, the why, they devote their selves to their gods.

bok : patamain nyo po ako sa lotto!
god: tumaya ka muna!

            It’s not just the priests, his sermons, their gods, nor do those cute sisters you imagine each time you pleasure yourself that they fight-to-death just for the sake of their so called faith. I’d been thinking this lately, and I think, this might answers some of my issues.

            Praying to those idols doesn’t just answer all they want, but also it is a mean of escaping some guilt driven sins without hearing anything. I mean why tells your priest that you and your boss have an intimate bed relationship and your sorry husband knows nothing about it when you can tell it to St. Peters image and he won’t mock you back. Why tell your Pastor that you secretly took P1000 from your crews set drawer, when you can whisper it behind Mama Mary’s statue in your house. Why asked for your local Elder’s forgiveness, he’ll just tell you to pray the rosary, the Lord’s prayer 3x, hail Mary and other ritual prayer just to save your sorry ass when you can tell it to the image of some idol without it complaining, nor nagging you about your sins…and most of all, they always smile back at you, you can almost hear them say “son you are now forgiven, go on, commit a new sin.’.

want one?

            You see, it’s the ability to stand still, sit for years without neither even scratching their butts nor aligning their crotch. It is the ability to stand still when others need to lean on them, the ability to  just listen  and utter no sound at all, it is those abilities that touch those morons heart to devote their selves. More than a dog that might ran away, a snake that might bite you back, a friend that would not tolerate your sexual desire to your office mate. Those idols, would never forsake you, leave you, nor disregard you whenever you need to burst out all your hidden desires. At least, that’s what they think.

                        Rommel Bernardo was a devotee of the black Nazarene; he said in an interview that he joins his fellow bacchanals in their every year “yaw-yan” for the black Nazarene. He and his wife, owns a local carendira in their house and was not criminals.  He was accused of being a snatcher, when, in-fact he is a real devotee. Luckily, someone had taken a video when he punch-right-in-your-face the real criminal. But was he really lucky? Was he really following Jesus? No matter how hard I think or watch the video, I can’t see any CHRIST-LIKENESS here. Sadly, they tell everyone that they follow the Christ yet they rushed toward the moron guy to take matters into their hands. Where’s the CHRIST-LIKENESS here? I mean, so we was a criminal, why can’t they just take to it a legal matter, drop animosity, let anger, hatred and rage soar throughout the sky and dissolve with the ever-changing clouds. Fury and disgust were cast all over the place. Rage was lit from everyone’s heart, where was CHRIST-LIKENESS in here? So he was a devotee, he punched the criminal for the sake of other? And him, being accused shouted what? That he was innocent? HYPOCRITE, he was just another Pharisee shape-shifting to a form of a loyal devotee, or maybe, those are the quality of a real devotee? And all i see, are people capable of hating each other, no love, no affection. just like what happened about 2000yrs ago, somewhere in Israel.

            Just had an idea. why is that no one portrays the suffering of St. Tarcicous?

let me have the pleasure!

-          He that commits no sin cast the first stone.

Crash and Burn…

may helmet...wala namn lisensya.

       

            Republic Act No. 10054 – Motorcycle Helmet Act:

                        Republic Act No. 10054, also known as the “Motorcycle Helmet Act” was signed into law on 23 March 2010.  Under this new law –

            All motorcycle riders, including drivers and back riders, are required to wear standard protective motorcycle helmets at all times while driving, whether long or short drives, in any type of road and highway.  Standard protective motorcycle helmets are appropriate types of helmets for motorcycle riders that comply with the specifications issued by the Department of   Trade and Industry (DTI).

            Any person caught not wearing the standard protective motorcycle helmet will be punished with a fine of P1,500.00 for the first offense, P3,000.00 for the second offense, P5,000.00 for the third offense, and P10,000.00 plus confiscation of the driver’s license for the fourth and succeeding offenses.

            Tricycle drivers are exempted from complying with the mandatory wearing of motorcycle helmets.

            -Lex Fori Philippines

            Yan ang kabuuran ng paborito ng mga 2-wheel motorcycle driver na helmet law, kung saan, lingid sa alam ng karamihan, ang nasabing batas ay hindi lamang utos ng lto, mmda, ka pulisan at misan pati mga brgy. Tanod, kung hindi, isang pambansang batas na pinag-isipan ng matatalinong tao yan…kaya sundin nating mga bobo yan.

            Ang helmet law ay isang batas para sa sariling kaligtasan ng nakasakay sa mga two-wheel na sasakyan, kadalasan ay ulo ang nagtatamo ng pinaka malalang tama mula sa isang disgrasya. Bukod pa sa mga reflective gears at crash gear, helmet na siguro ang pinaka mahalagang gamit ng isang motorist at  paboritong iwan sa bahay ng karamihan, kahit ako tinatamad sa bagay na ito. Mag-hehelmet ka gayung sa palenke lang punta mo kung san 30kph ang maximum na andar sa loob ng aming bayan. Helmet law ang isa sa pinaka paboritong sawayin ng aking kababayan.

gusto ko nito,,,,,

            Pano ka nga naman susunod sa batas kung mismong nagpapatupad nito sumusuway ditto. Ang mga pulis walang helmet, yung meron walang rehistro “galling sa nakaw?”, at sa pag-kaka alala ko, bawal ang naka helmet sa bayan ko, san naman kami lulugar sa gusto ng mga hinayupak na ito?

            Recently, nag baba ng utos si PNP Chief Nicanor Bartolome ng paghihigpit sa bawat naka motor, dahil umano sa nakawan na nagaganap gamit ang motor, petty crime with a style.  Batay umano sa utos na ito, bawat ahensya ng kapulisan ay nag-conduct ng checkpoint sa bawat parte, oras, pagkakataon na matripan nila, depende sa panganga-ilangan. Bigla-bigla ang “para”, minsan ng pumunta pa kami sa majayjay isang braso na may baby armalite ang bigla nalng pumara samin mula sa dilim, checkpoint pala, wala manlang warning device, samantalng ipinagbabawal ng batas ang checkpoint na walang ilaw.

            Sa areza “pagsanjan, laguna” ay madalas ang “para” ng kapulisan ng pagsanjan, hindi sa papasuk sa kanilang bayan, kundi yung mga palabas. Ayus sa olright, kung may iniiwasan silang bahong lumabas sa bayan nila ay hindi ko lang alam. Kaya dapat may helmet ka para wag kang parahin ng mga ito.

            Bawal ang walang helmet, walang side mirror, nakatsinelas, may colored transparent protector ang plaka, naka short, walang rehistro at walang lisensya, nasa side ang plaka, walang plaka, at higit sa lahat bawal ang open pipe ditto sa laguna…pero kung ilan ang mismong nadisgrasya dahil umano sa mga nasabing bawal ay hindi ko lang alam.

            Sige, sabihin mo nga, ilan ang nabanga dahil walang lisensya? Ilan ang nabasag ang mukha dahil naka tsinelas? May sumalpak na ba sa kasalubong dahil wala syang side mirror? Ilan na nga ba ang nadisgrasya dahil sya ay naka open pipe? Tila yata naabuso na ang batas mula sa kanilang kalokohan.

crash...

            Bukod sa batas ito na dapat sundin, dapat natin alamin natin san ba ito dapat paganahin. Parang isang katatawanan naman kung mamalenke ka lang may helmet ka pa, kung isasagot mong mag lakad ka nalang, eh gago, tumahimik ka nalang jan. hinuhili ditto samin ang naka full helmet, bawal ito dahil di mo nga naman kita ang nasa loob nito kung bigla itong mamaril, kaya pag pasok mo sa bayan namin, hubarin mo na helmet mo, pero malas mo pag may HIGHWAY PATROL o kaya ay LTO, dahil bawal ang walang helmet. Sa San Pablo City, pinagbabawal ang may helmet dahil sa death treat ng kanilang alkalde, pero pag wala kang helmet huhulihin ka rin nila, gulo ano? kaya pag nagpunta ka dun, dapat may helmet ka……sa siko. Sa Los Banos, dapat naka helmet, pero pede na tsinelas at short, sa majayjay, bawal open pipe, pede walang helmet. Hirap ano….

violation?

          
  Pinatutupad ngayun ng MMDA ang pag gamit ng “yakult helmet”, yung helmet na kadalasan ginagamit ng mga nagbibike. Di patong at bunbunan mo lang ang may proteksyon. Sa ganitomg paraan daw makikita ng madla kung sino ang sakay kung sakaling barilin si chairman Tolentino. Malamang huli na ako sa mga ito, kung makikita mo helmet ko.

            Pinag helmet pa ako kung pang yakult lang pala isusuot ko. Pano kung mukha ko ang bumagsak sa semento, Kung panga ko ang humataw sa harang na kongkreto, at labi ko ang makipaghalikan sa mainit na aspalto? Pinaghelmet mo pa ako, kaligtasan pala ng iba ang iniisip mo.

            Trabaho ng LTO at HIGHWAY PATROL ang hulihin ang mga driver na sasaway  sa batas ng kalsada “hindi trapiko”. Pero kung bakit puro 2-wheel motorcycle ang hinuhuli, malamang ay dahil sa madaling pagkakitaan ang mga ito, at kung pumalag man, madaling gawan ng kaso, tsk, kawawang pobre.

            Bawal ang walang side mirror, gayung marami akong nakakasabay na hindi marunong gumamit ng side mirror, sarap hatawin ng helmet sa panga. Alam kong, ang purpose nito ay para makita mo ang nasa kanan at kaliwang likuran mo, at para wag mangawit ang leeg mo kaka tingin sa likod. Pero kung ito ay isang bagay na hindi alam gamitin, palagay ko, tangalin nalang natin ito at hayaan na mangawit ang mga leeg nyo.

may mas maingay pa dito....

            Bukod sa helmet at side mirror ang  isa pang all time favorite parahin ng LTO ay ang mga naka open pipe. Maingay daw ito sa gabi, pero kung bakit sa umaga at hindi sa gabi sila nang huhuli, eh malay ko sa kanila. Nang minsan akong lumuwas sa manila, karamihan sa motor ay naka opn pipe, yung iba sobrang katikot pa, kaya tangal ang kaluluwa mo pag ng revolution ito, pero wala ni isa na nakitang kong hinuli dahil dito.kung tutuusin nga, pabor pa ako sa mga naka open pipe, malayu pa, rinig mo ng may parating, hindi tulad ng stock pipe na nasa likod mo na di mo pa alam. At bakit nga ba big deal ang open pipe, gayung kung sa ingay ay panalo ang 2-stroke na mga motor, hindi mo na kailangan ng open pipe, harangan mo lang ng piso yung dulo ng tambutso, mamumura ka na sa ingay ng tunog nito…at may nabanga na ba dahil sa open pipe?

            Ang mga tulad ng short, tsinelas, helmet at side mirror ay dapat pang sariling pagdedesisyon na. higit sa malasakit ng otoridad, dapat siguro ay mas pag tuunan ng pansin ang mas malalalim na usapin. Ang kaso ng OR CR at lisensya ay ibang bagay na ukol sa kaligtasan ng nag mamay-ari  mula sa pag ka nakaw ng knilang sasakyan, pero ang lisensya kung san babayaran mo lang ay ang id at ilang oras na pagdadaldal ng mga kawani ng LTO, palagay ko, dapat ay isantabi na ang lisensya o bawasan ang singil ditto. Over pricing ang lisensya, tila kukuha ka ng lisensya sa PRC, daig pa ang tagal sa proseso, at kung mamalasin ka, may mauuna pa sayu kahit 4hrs ka na sa pila at sila kakarating lang. kaya di mo maiiwasan na yung iba sa recto nalang kumukuha, mura na mabilis pa, total wala naman gadget ang mga ito para I tsek kung totoo o peke ang lisenya mo, at kung tutusin, mas maraming tangang mag drive na may lisensya kesa sa mga wala. Mabagal ang proseso sa opisina ng LTO, walng drivinf test, may bayad ang exam, ang fixer wala sa labas, para san pa ang restriction code kung di ka naman nila papanuorin mag-drve.

            Kahit ang rehistro  ng sasakyan ay mahal, kung para san ito, o kung 1k ang bayad sa sticker at ang iba ay sa bulsa, malamang kaya lumabas sa kanilang system ay maraming unregistered na sasakyan. Magtataka ka pa ba bakit takot sa HIGHWAY PATROL at LTO ang mga motorist. Mahal magka sasakyan, mahal mag paganda ng sasakyan, mahal mag maytena ng sasakayan at mahal magbayad sa mga kawatan ng bayan.


            Inilabas na ng Laguna Government  ang bagong sticker for the Clean Laguna Motorcycles, katulong ang kapulisan ng buong probinsya, pinag-iigting nila ang kamppanya laban sa mga nakaw na motor. Isang motorista ang nag post ng ganito sa http://motorcyclephilippines.com/forums/index.php:






            "sino na sa inyo nadikitan nito? kanina kasi nacheck point kame ng kasama ko sa famy laguna on our way to lucban mababait naman yung pulis hiningi lang or/cr (orig) kelangan orig para bigyan ng sticker libre lang naman tapos madikitan pipicturan ka with our mc (parang sa LTO) ang dami nameng dinaanang check point police at military ayos naman di na kame hinarang nung nakita yung sticker.. ang dami daw kasing bumabyahe dun na walang papeles ang motor kaya sila may hakbang na ganun. 

            Ayos ito, talagang iwas abala ka, lagpas ka na sa walang kamatayang check-point sa bawat bayan na dadaanan mo. Kaso, paano kung ang motor mo ay may sticker na at nanakaw, hindi na ito paparahin dahil may stiker na ito...tsk, tama si manong danny, binibigyan mo lang ng kalayaan ang mga magnanakaw na nakawin lalo ang sasakyan mo.

            Mas maraming pasaway na kotse, kaskaserong bus, walang lisensyang driver ng suv at mga kolorum na jeep, pero bakit puro motor ang hinuhili? Mas maraming bumabangang bus, nalalaglag na jeep sa tulay, at lasing na driver ng kotse, pero bakit puro motor ang hinuhili? Hindi kaya bias na ang nangyayaring ito, at bakit nga ba sa motor lang sila naka tingin, gayung wala namang na rape dahil sa walang helmet, walang batang adik dahil sa naka tsinelas mag motor ang tatay nya, may proyekto naba ng gobyerno ang hindi natuloy dahil saw ala akong side mirror? May mangagakaw bang congressman dahil walang rehistro ang motor ko? Masydaong mainit ang mata ng lahat sa naka motor, pero walang pumapansin sa cancer ng lipunan ng mga politico.

            Ang mga holdaper kung wala sa jeep nasa bus, ang tulak naka suv ang pokpok nasa hotel, ang mga magnanakaw naka barong at naka upo lang sa kamara. Pero mas masarap hulihin ang motor. Masayadong pina iigting ang batas tungkol sa pagsusuot ng helmet, pero yung batas sa droga, kung san mas maraming namamatay ay hindi pinag iigting, bakit? Eh gabi gabi tambay padin ang mga adik at tulak sa labas naming. Lahat ng alagad ng batas may diskarte sa pang huhuli ng naka motor, pero walng gumagawa ng paraan para mahuli ang mga kapwa nila higad. Puro motor, wala ng nahuling pusher, rapist, at mga arroyo. Sayang…

            Kung sususmahin, maganda naman ang hangarin ng gobyerno sa ting mga mamayan, pero palagay ko, kung ayaw ng tao mag pants and shoes papuntang isdaan eh walang basagan ng trip. Pangit naman sigurong mag helmet kung alam mong pinagbabawal ng mayor mo dahil my treat na ang buhay nya, hidni naman siguro tama na di ka makapag open pipe dahil maingay ito sa gabi gayung wala pang 8pm garahe na ang motor mo.

            Tsk, wala ngang patutunguhan ang byahe ni juan, dahil paparahin lang sya ng LTO dahil sa violation ng kanyang sasakayn, habang ang mayayaman na kawatan kahit walang rehistro ang sasakyan, sasaluduhan  at dirediretso lang sa daan.

find the flaw.

            

I am my own worst enemy...

the choice is always yours.

      Kaya mo bang pigilan ang tae mo kung nakaupo ka na mismo sa toilet-bowl? Or kaya mo bang tangihan ang isang bagay na ikaw mismo ang nagadala sa sarili mo sa ganyang sitwasyon? Wag kang hypocrite...temeng.

          Alam ko, para sayo nakaka-adwa nanaman nag example ko.la ako magagawa. Pananaw mo yan. Ginagalang ko.pero manahimik ka nalang muna. Blog ko to.

          Paulit-ulit ko ng sinasabi, hindi mo na kayang pigilan ang sarili mo sa isang bagay na ikaw mismo ang may kagagawan.para kang tumayo sa isang cliff at hinayaang itulak ng sarili na magpatihulog sa kawalan at sinong sisihin mo, ang hangin na bumulong sa taenga mo? Kahibangan.  Wala tayung pinag-iba nito sa mga taong sinisisi ang diyos kung bakit sya mahirap, gayung ayaw nya magtrabaho. Pugay kamay!

          Minsan makulit din tayung mga tao. Masarap daw ang bawal, kung sino man ang naka-isip nito, malamang batay to sa karanasan nya. Kung masarap saksakan ng dogiesaur sa puwet at mag kasakit,,,eh bahala na silasa bagay na ito.

          Nung high-school pa ko ilang beses din akong napatgawag sa guidance-office. (wag mo nalang itanong kung anu-anong mga kaso) tanda ko pa kung anu yung sinabi ng councillor ng araw na gumawa akong ng pinakamatinding katarantaduhan sa buhay ko.

          “walang dapat sisihin sa nangyari kung hindi sarili mo mismo. Walang tumakot, pumilit o nagsabi sayo na gawin mo ang mga bagay na ito.”

          Tama sya. Kasalanan ko ang lahat. Kahit na man takutin ako ng kung sino kapag hindi ko ginawa ito, ako padin ang magdedesisyon, ako pa din ang kikilos. Anu man ang mangyari sa buhay ko, lahat to desisyon ko.

          Kaso, ginusto mo iwasan ang isang bagay na ikaw ang lagging kumukuha. Ayaw mo na sa lugar nayun pero lagi ka pa din napunta para silipin ito.  Wala itong pinag-iba sa nagrereklamong nauuhaw na sya, samantalanag kanina pa sya naka-tubog sa isang malinis na batis.

          Addiction is not a crime, it’s a disease. At walang ibang makaka-gamot sa’yo kundi ang sarili mo. Tulungan mo ang sarili mo, reklamo ka ng reklamo na nauuhaw ka na gayung nasa gitna ka ng isang batis na malinis, kanina pa.

no one but i..will make my way!

          Hindi ako naniniwal sa tadhana o fate, kung mabubuhay ako na umaasa ditto, patuloy kong lolokohin na lahat ng bagay ay dadating sa tamang panahon ng wala ka manlang ginagawa. Tila ba bibilis ang daliri ko, gayung hindi na ako nag-gigitara. Parang gagaling ako sa isang gawain na hindi ko alam gawin. Ayus!

          Malaking katarantaduhan ang sabihin na kung ano ang puno, sya ang bunga. Dahil una, hindi naman tayu halaman. Ispin mo nalang ito, ang mansanas ay isang mansanas dahil mansanas ang pinagmulan nya na nanggaling sa isang mansanas na bunga ng isang mansanas.....baka di na ako matapos. Kung gago ka, yan ay dahil sag ago ang tatay mo, gago ang lolo mo, ang lolo mo sa tuhod, lolo mo sa talampakan at lolo mo sa singit. Kung bobo ka, wag ka ng umasa na magiging matalino kahit isang araw lang ang magiging ka-apo-apohan mo, dahil bago pa ikaw, bobo na ang lahi mo. Hmmm, kaya pala supot ang mga kano?

          Magulang mismo ang humuhubog sa katauhan ng kanilang mga anak, kung  may ilan mang traits tyung namamana, eh bukod sa third eye, wala ng mas big deal pang pede mong makuha bukod sa apilyido.

are you gonna go my way?

          Tayu at wala ng iba ang gumawa ng kwento ng buhay natin, yung ibang kupal, sinasabi na diyos daw nila ang  pintor ng buhay nila, pero pag tinanong mo kung sa paanung paraan, puro kaututan lang isasagot sayu. Kaya hangang ngayun wala akong bilib sa mga head ng simbahan. Walang kwentang pastor ang hindi marunong magpakumbaba. Pilit mong tinataasan ang lipad mo, hindi mo na napansin, pilit ko ring inaabot pababa ang kamay ko para makamayan mo.

-god’s will. Their god, not mine.

          Isang dating kaibigan ang nagsabi sa pulipito ng aming sambahan ang nagsabi na maganda daw yung inaaplayan nya. God’s will daw na mapunta sya dun, after ng final interview at bumagsak sya, hindi daw yun ang kaloob para sa kanya. May ibang nakalaan daw para sa kanya...paksyet! ayus sa palusot!

                   Tinatawag nilang ama yung diyos nila, pero wala silang tiwala para sa mangyayari sa buhay nila. Wala naman sigurong tatay ang papakitaan ka ng lollipop at pagkatapos ay hindi pala ibibigay sayu, tinatakam ka lang. Tsk, sayang, mga butas na pananampalataya. Hindi na naisip na may hanganan ang mga bagay. Tsk.

an acquaintance...

          Patuloy nating sinisisi sa tadhana at kapalaran ang mga nangyayari satin, samantalang tayu ang may kasalanan kung bakit tayu nagkakaganito. It was your call, and always had been. If destiny and fate do exist, then we must abolish the word freewill, your privacy that you can’t practice no more, maybe we should erase it from our dictionaries.

          Eto pananaw ko sa bagay nayan. Tayong mga tao ay dinadala lang sa harap ng isang intersection, tayu parin ang magdedesisyon kung aling daan ang tatahakin natin. Highway, service road, tarmac, street o avenue, ikaw ang pipili.

           Naiihi ka ba o natatae, alam mo alin sa dalawa talaga ang nararamdaman mo, takot ka lang aminin na isa ditto ang tunay mong nararamdaman. Kung sakali man  na dumating ang punto na hindi mo na kayang pigilan ang tae mo dahil nakaupo ka na sa bowl, siguro isabog mo nalang sa sahig. Makalat, parusa, pero mas ayus na to, kesa isabog mo sa bowl na bawal mo palang taihan.

...go with the flow.

ride the lightning 

          Minsan mali din kasi ang pantaha ng mga tao, tila mga barko sa gitna ng isang malaking bagyo. imbis na salubungin at harapin ito, tinatakasan kundi ba naman gago. isipin mo, may nakita kang bagong papunta sayu, aatras ka bigla, eh di lalo ka lang nagtagal dahil ang mang-yayari magkakasabay kayu dahil parehas na kayu ng direction. ayus diba...iba talaga mag-isip ang kapwa natin.

-think before you click...o yeah!

          Narinig mo nayan, nabasa at nakita sa isang stasyon ng TV. Responsible use of social-media ang gusto nila. Maliwanag, isipin mo muna ang gusto mong sabihin kung makakasakit ito o hindi, dahil lahat ng ilalagay mo sa msa ito ay pang habang buhay, kung hindi mo kayang sabihin sa personal wag mong sabihin sa social-networking-sites. Assholes!

think before you click...hell yeah!

          Sa punto palang na ito, tinatarantado na kagad tayu. Isipin muna natin, pero hindi nila naiisip yung panic-attack na binibigay nila tuwing pinapalala nila ang isang flue-outbreak. Responsible-media ang mga programa nila ben, raffy at erwin na minumura lahat ng may kasalanan.  Pinag-isispan nilang mabuti na hindi tamang i-exgerate ang balita kaya nung panahon ng duenge, lagging headline ay yyung mga namamatay sa nasabing sakit. Think-before you click propaganda simply states one thing here, we are not free to express our selves due to some reason that is called “we are not media”. Do I have to exert here the contribution of mel tianko on the famous luneta grandstand hostage taking? Fuck yeah! This is responsible media!


          Isang  south-african photo-journalist si kevin carter, isang Pulitzer-prize. Ang kanyang obra, ang litrato na kilala natin sa tawag na "starving in sudan". isang batang ang dahan-dahang namamatay mula sa gutom at inaabangan ng buwitre na mamatay upang kainin mula sa isang liblib na nayon sa sudan. maganda ang pagkakakuha  at naging topic sa ibat-ibang conference tungkol sa media-ethics. Nag-tagumpay sya, kinilala ng ibat-ibang nasyon, media at press ang nsabing larawan. sa isang interview, sinabi nyang inabot sya ng 20minuto bago nakunan ang tamang pagkakataon at angulo para lumabas ang damdamin sa litrato. Bago binugaw ang buwitre. Nadala naman “daw” nya sa hospital ang bata. Kaya lang walang makapagsabi san.responsible media!

hands down, this responsible media.

          Isang dyaryo ang nagsabi kay carter ng ganito : "The man adjusting his lens to take just the right frame of her suffering, might just as well be a predator, another vulture on the scene."

          Matapos ang isang taon mula sa kanyang pagkakapanalo, kinitil nya ang kanyang sariling buhay dala ng sobrang depresyon. Sa isang liaham-pamamaalam ito ang kanyang sinabi :

 "I am depressed ... without phone ... money for rent ... money for child support ... money for debts ... money!!! ... I am haunted by the vivid memories of killings and corpses and anger and pain ... of starving or wounded children, of trigger-happy madmen, often police, of killer executioners ... I have gone to join Ken [recently deceased colleague Ken Oosterbroek] if I am that lucky."

Sayang, nanalo nga sya sa isa sa pinagpipitaganang patimpalak sa larangan ng media, kaya lang, nawala naman respeto ng ibang tao sa kanya, dahil nung oras nay un pinili nyang kuhanan ang namamatay na bata kaysa ito’y tulungan.

            

         

          You see, kahit sa pagbebenta ng isang kaibigan, kailangan mo parin magdesisyon kung mananatili kang tapat sa pack or ititindi sila na tila malansang isda sa bang-bang.

          Kahit yung lasing mong kaibigan na pinagnanasahan mo, disiyon parin kung titirahin mo sya o hindi, swerte ka pang nakuha mo kung hindi, tawag ditto respeto.

          Yung pang-gugulang mo sa kaibigan mo, pantutuso sa katrabaho mo, pag-ihi sa kanto, pag-boso kay manong, pag hipo sa kanyang su__, lahat yan desisyon mo, kaya tigilan mo na ang kakasisi sa lolo mo kung bakit ka gago.

          Life is like a game where, you always have an option, an option to make things easier or the other way around. Life is full of decisions, no one else but you must decide on it, sink or swim, the choice is always yours.

                ....time will come when we have to choose between what is right,

And what is easy.

-Gandalf, the white